Was It Something I Said?
by imanactordealwithit
Summary: (pre-abyss) Gil reflects on a recent argument between himself and a certain green eyed blonde. Warning: abuse. rating subject to change if people want more chapters.
1. prologue

**Hey so this is an alternate version of my story "three days is all it takes". This is gunna be angsty and might get weird… idk. I got a 15 year old mind to work with here so bear with me… **

**Warnings: mentions of abuse **

"How the hell did this happen to me? What did I do? Does he hate me?" Gilbert laid his head on his knees in an attempt to stop his train of thought before he got any more depressed.

It had been about an hour since he and Oz had fought, and he knew it had been his fault. He shouldn't have said what he did. He was a servant after all. Just a servant, no matter how much he wanted to be more he couldn't. He and Oz weren't friends. The only reason Oz even glanced in his direction was because he had to, because he was burdened with looking after an orphan, because Gil was the only one there, he had no other choice.

Sighing he leaned back on the tree behind him, relishing in the calmness of the garden. Oz had sent him out of the manor in a fit of rage. Thinking back on it Gilbert knew his words were foolish. He knew what the outcome would be yet he said it anyway.

But it does take two to tango and Oz definitely had his role in the argument. He had been acting strange for the past couple of days and Gilbert noticed. He'd become distant, and didn't smile. Ada was beginning to get worried and would often come to Gil crying and in need of comfort. Oz had also been riding on a short fuse when it came to his temper as well. The slightest thing would set him off. Usually when he would have a fit he would throw a book or break a cup and be over it but today it was different.

Cups and books are inanimate, unmoving, without feeling. There will be no one hurt in the act of defiling them but today Oz struck something living, hard, across the face. Then proceeded to chase said something out of the manor throwing tea wear all the way; several cups shattering on the something's head leaving blood trickle down the cheeks. That something was Gilbert who was now in the garden blaming himself for the unfortunate ordeal.

What had he said? Something like '_you're as bad as your father' _yeah that must have been what triggered it. But in this moment he was. The Master was the only one whom had ever struck Gilbert and now it seemed as though Oz was planning to make it a habit. Gilbert shuddered at the thought. The last thing he needed was an abusive master.

He reached up to brush away some of the blood now drying on his cheek, doing little more than smearing it around. He pulled is had away from his face and studied the crimson color that stained his flesh. Dark red. It had been Oz who had done this too him. Oz. Laughing, smiling, optimistic, Oz! This couldn't be real. He had to be stuck in a nightmare. All he had to do was open his eyes and wake up!

He was suddenly pulled from his thoughts by the sound of his name being called from the garden door. Mrs. Kate, of course, probably wondering why he wasn't with the young master. Hesitantly he got up wiping as much blood and tears as he could from his face and trudged toward the house, scared of what he might encounter within.

**Soooo how was that? It's really just the prologue so long as people enjoyed it I'll write another chapter. Seriously tell me if I messed up on spelling or anything as well. Thanks and as always please R&R. I will reply to all! **


	2. Reason

**Let me lay something down before you read this. Oz is OOC (to everyone who isn't me) so roll with it and don't question it. Also as for my reason, it's my reason I'm sorry if you think I blew it out of proportion but it works for the story so I'm not going to change it. Anyways I hope this is what y'all were hoping' for **

"Gilbert where have you been?" Mrs. Kate screeched upon Gil's arrival to the garden door. "And what happened?"

"No-nothing, Mrs. Kate. I'm fine."

"You're bleeding!"

"It's nothing bad, just a scratch. I assure you I'm quite well." Gilbert said, trying to keep his voice level.

"Well if it's nothing then I'm sure you are well enough to stay with the young master! Being his personal servant you should never leave his side unless instructed to do so. Have I made myself clear?" she asked in an authoritative tone.

"Yes, Mrs. Kate." Gilbert replied, head bowed to the floor in defeat.

"Good. Now run along and do your duties. We are way behind schedule!" Gilbert watched as the strict maid scurried away and stood listening to her footsteps before they disappeared. Turning to the stairs he prepared himself for the encounter he would surely have with his detached master.

Every step rang loud in Gil's ears. Ten more to go. _What if Oz lost his temper again? _Seven. _What if he got Gilbert cornered and there was no escaping his wrath. _Four. _What if he got hit by more than just tea cups. _One.

Gilbert's movement and train of thought all came to a screeching halt as he looked at the menacing door that stood between him and his master. Hesitantly he raised a small fist and managed two quiet knocks against the mahogany.

After a few seconds there came the short reply, "Enter."

Swallowing the lump in his throat Gil entered the room with his head bowed not yet willing to look upon the blonde. He closed the door and merely stood by the frame, not daring to go any farther for fear of never getting out.

"Gilbert?" he looked up at the sound of his name. "Why are you standing by the door? Come in. Unless… you're scared like everyone else."

Everyone else? What was he talking about? As far as Gil knew he was the only one Oz had ever struck, others shouldn't be scared of him.

"I've been acting weird, huh?" Oz said with a humorless laugh. "There's a reason you know."

Gilbert still hugging the doorway enthralled by his master's words.

"Why the hell are you still just standing there!?" Gilbert's head snapped to attention as he slowly walked towards the hot tempered blonde. "That's better! Now I…." Oz paused mid-sentence dropping his head so that his bangs cast a dark shadow over his eyes. "I did it again didn't I?" again came the airy laugh. "I keep treating you like some insignificant thing but you're not." Gilbert's heart stopped at Oz's words. "Y-you remember last month? When my father- and you got taken away- and I was alone?"

This was uncharacteristic of the young blonde. Stuttering and talking about his father could never be a good sign especially with Gilbert standing within reach.

"Well my father made me realize something. I can't get close to people like you. It's not my place."

Gilbert's vision blurred, tears welling in his eyes. He wanted to say and so many things in that moment, so my conflicting emotions and question raged in his adolescent mind, too many to allow him to do anything other than stand perfectly still and retain the silence that enveloped the room.

After what seemed to Gilbert as hours of utter silence and building tension Oz snapped.

"He said I was never meant to be born! That I was a mistake!" his hand swept across the table shattering the tea cup at Gil's feet. "That I wasn't even his son! Does he say things like that to Ada!?" he paused in his furry to question the stiff servant. "Does he?!" Oz asked with more intensity.

"N-no mas-"

"I knew it! It's me huh!? Some- something is wrong with me." He said burying his face in his hands. "I don't deserve to have people around who care for me. It's painful. To know that they care more about me than my own father! I can't deal with that! What's the point in having someone love me when the person who's supposed to doesn't?" he, much to Gil's bewilderment was crying now. "It hurts Gil…"

**Ok I realize that's kind of an awkward ending and its really short but hey I got the chapter up. I'm thinking of making this an Ozbert thing so give me your thoughts on that and ill update soon R&R por favor! **


	3. Out of Turn

**Wow… three chapters in one week. You people have no idea how big of a deal this is for me. My last story I updated once a month if that so HELL YEAH! Hope this satisfies the Ozbert fan girls ;)**

There it was. That was the reason? He said it so fast that Gilbert had to take a couple seconds to even realize what happened. Plenty of time for Oz to take note of the silence.

"I knew it. You're just like Mrs. Kate huh? Only paying attention to me because you have to. You're scared of what would happen should you stop caring. Scared of what I would do. Scared of me. You are all scared of me!" he cried slamming his fist on the table.

Gilbert wanted to shout out to the distraught blonde but his voice didn't work; his lips didn't move. Much to his dismay, he was a statue listening to the crying dreams of the artist who sculpted him. Putting all of his heart and soul into an object that could give nothing in return. That was how Oz saw this situation, and yes, that did scare Gil. It terrified him. To think Oz actually believes that he is being forced to care for him. It sent chills down his spine. But even if Gilbert were to tell Oz all of this would he listen? Would he even consider that his love was genuine? He had to try right? He had to say something before-

"Gil?" Gilbert shifted his gaze from the floor to look straight into his master's eyes, and what he saw suppressed him. He was expecting anger or hatred but he saw a sort of softness, a vulnerability belonging to a lost child, and it gave him the courage to stand tall and face his master. "Gil you haven't said anything. I mean besides my Ada question. I–I'm right aren't I?" he mumbled to himself dropping his head "You are scared of me. I just kne-"

"Stop." Gilbert commanded cutting him off midsentence.

Oz looked up, wide eyed to his servant. "What? But I-"

"I said stop." Gilbert said gaining slight confidence. "You say I'm scared? Well I am. But not _of_ you but rather _for_ you. Weather you can get this through your head or not I care for you and I'm not leaving, no matter how many tea cups you throw at me."

"Gil."

"I'm not done! I'm sorry if my being here hurts you. I am, but you are going to have to accept the pain and the fact that there are people out there willing to care for you. No one is forcing me to stay here. I can leave anytime I want to but I won't because wherever I end up you won't be there. I need to be beside you. Right now it's the only thing that makes me happy and gives me purpose." Gilbert had tears streaming his cheeks at this point and his fists were clenched hard enough to turn his knuckles white. "So if I hurt you I'm sorry! If you never want to see me again I'm sorry! But you have to know that I love you and no one is ordering me to! So for my own selfish desires, Bochan, I'm staying by your side until the pain ebbs and you accept what I have to give." Gilbert finally ceased in his rant and watched in silence as his tears hit the carpet, not daring to look up, knowing he had spoken out of turn just like before he got chased to the garden.

Suddenly he felt a pair of arms wrap around him and pull him into tight hug. The chest he was held against had a shallow uneven rise and fall indicating that the instigator had too been crying as much as he. "Thank you Gilbert." Oz whispered into raven hair.

"For what?!" Gilbert asked breaking the embrace. "I spoke out of turn I should be punished I-"

"Stop." Oz commanded, smiling slightly at the ironic turn in positions. "I'm not going to punish you Gil. I was in a bad place and," he said reaching to touch the base of the bleeding on Gil's head. "I hurt you. But you didn't leave did you? Despite my valiant efforts to keep you away you came back just the same."

"Bochan I-"

"I'm glad you did. And Gil," Oz said pulling his servant back in close "I love you too."

**OOOOOOH! The end! Of the chapter I mean. Yeah! So I'm all inspired for this story and I have a problem with length usually so don't be expecting long chapters. Any suggestions I'd be up for. Maybe to draw it out longer? Idk. Anyway R&R !**


	4. Finally

**Ok I'm really sorry for the length! Please don't bite me! I wrote this like really fast so I could get another chapter up! Sorry! Writer's block is a bitch :P**

"What? H-how… I mean why… uh… wait seriously?" Gilbert stuttered pulling back to look his master in the eyes.

Oz just chuckled in response. "Yes Gil. Why else would I chase you out of the house?" Gilbert stared at his master in utter confusion as the blond sauntered back over to his desk.

"You did that because you love me?"

"Mm-hmm." Oz nodded "Remember as I was tell in you just now I said how much pain people who love me bring to me due to my father's aversion to me? I get this weird ache in my chest when I see you. Like- like my heart is trying to burst out. That is why I lash out at you so often. I don't know how to make I stop."

"We- well do you feel better now?" Gilbert tentatively asked. "You seem to be okay"

"Yeah. I guess I am." Oz said more o himself than anyone. Smiling down at his desk in utter bliss of the realization that he had found someone to fill the void his father had created.

OOOOOOOOO

"Gilbert!? GIIILLLLL!"

Gilbert turned at the sound of his name to see a smiling little blonde wandering the halls.

"Here Ms. Ada."

"Gilbert!" she exclaimed running toward the raven haired boy embracing him on impact.

Stumbling a few steps under the weight of the hug he managed to steady himself and look down to the girl clutching his waist. After a few moments the green eyed girl looked up and began talking excitedly the young servant. "I don't know what happened but Oniichan seems better! He isn't being mean anymore! Did you know that?"

"Yes, he seems to be doing much better now. I'm glad you're pleased Ms. Ada." Gilbert laughed, she really was a cute little girl.

Giggling she smiled and ran off down the hall, turning back to wave at gilbert before disappearing around the corner.

Gilbert sighed to himself pleased with the current turn of events. He and Oz had finally admitted it to each other. After five years of secrecy and stolen glances they finally told each other how they feel. Sure, it may not have been in the ideal way but they did it all the same. He loved Oz and Oz loved him and he couldn't be happier.

**Again really sorry! If anyone had like a story arc or a problem they want to give me I'll take it into consideration cuz right now I'm stuck for ideas… I'm not too good with the romance stuff :/**


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